Larry had been studying in the Bible about the Samaritan woman in John chapter 4. He was struck by how Jesus meeting with the Samaritan woman was somewhat unplanned. As John records that Jesus was passing through Samaria. Larry points out how this very important encounter was like it happened between the cracks of the other things going on in his day. Larry began to pray that the Lord would help him see the people who go unnoticed and unappreciated. The people who are “in between.”  And so the Lord reminded him of that prayer while he listened to the driver share about his painful loss.

When people share with us about their pain, the temptation is to fill the void with some remark, like “I know how you feel.”  The fact is that you do not know. But before he offered his reply, Larry remembered some sound advice he once received for moments like this. To first not say anything, but instead pray for the Lord to give him the words. (Matthew 10).

As soon as he reached the restaurant, Larry asked if he could pray for him. He offered a short prayer saying that he did not know the depth of his suffering and grief, but that the Lord did. He prayed: Remind him, Lord, that you love him and that eternal life is real. Remind him that justice is real.  

When he was done praying, his driver, who was a battle-hardened veteran, was shaking as tears poured down his face. As Larry witnessed this, he said, “Sir, I can’t imagine the suffering. I can’t imagine your grief. But I believe the words that my grace is sufficient for you.”  The old man replied, “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.”

The “In-Between” Man

Introduction

Larry had been praying to the Lord to help him to see the people “in-between.” Back on Christmas Eve 2004, Larry’s car was in the shop for repair and he asked the mechanic if there was anyone who could give him a ride to a meeting at a local restaurant. An older man offered to do so. While in the shuttle van, Larry was scrolling through his phone, and the driver asked about his thoughts on a high profile murder trial that was in the news. He then said, “someone murdered my daughter.” How do you respond to this painful confession?

Take, for example, C.S. Lewis’ “The Problem of Pain.” (1940). This his was a book that was not written out of any personal suffering that Lewis had experienced. It is an intellectual response to pain. It is a good apologetics response to those who say that there is no God because of the suffering in the world, but he says that does not nullify who God is. But this book pales in comparison to his book “A Grief Observed” written in 1961 after the death of his wife.  It reads like a lamentation. 

Larry gives some definition to the very complex issue of suffering. 

There is suffering from evil and suffering from natural causes; there is physical suffering and there is emotional suffering; there is suffering that is self-inflicted and there is suffering that is caused by others. And there is suffering that is obvious (like a physical injury) and there is suffering that is hidden or secret (such as abuse or the loss of a loved one).

Larry can’t cover all of these bases and there are few tidy answers to any of them. Or, to put it another way, often the answers, which are compelling, aren’t the ones people want because they require something from us.

Larry can offer you something of immense value. Again, this is a deeply personal issue for him. He is not teaching this course to unravel some theological Gordian knot. Rather, Larry wants to give you answers, yes, but most of all, he wants to give you something to hold onto when the storm of pain breaks against your life.

In John 16:33, Jesus tells the disciples: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

We will all have tribulation, pain, of some kind. And in this course, we will discuss:
Why does God allow pain?
Is there meaning in pain?
How do we cope with our pain?
How do we help others with their pain?
How do we find hope in pain?

So, why does Larry teach the course? Beyond the obvious fact that he has known, and continues to know, great pain, Larry has had reason to think deeply on the subject. Pain and Larry are old friends. Along the way, he has learned a few things.

Larry has created this course to instruct you about what he has learned from both his own pain and that of others.

Why Pain and Suffering?

Pain is a deeply personal issue for Larry. For others, it might be an intellectual riddle to solve. These are almost always people who have not suffered themselves. 

Several people recall how they witnessed the cycling accident that almost killed Larry. They recall how they, too, happened to glance over the intersection and see the cyclist coming down the hill really fast. And then they heard a really loud car crash. Then hearing the cyclist's head hit the car, catapulting him high into the air. Like a rag doll plummet onto the ground and sliding down the street, he was facing them but not moving.

Immediately, they called 911 for help and ran over to him thinking, “Oh my God is that man dead?”
Everyone who saw the car hit the man on the bike was overwhelmed with emotion, believing that they just saw someone who just died. 

They looked at how the carbon fiber bike had been torn in half, leaving it a mangled mix of metal and the car looked like a tree had fallen on it. They were all convinced that he had died.

Eye Witness Account

God in My Suffering

Stories from eye witnesses of Larry’s cycling accident.

He recalls how it was a beautiful day. He had plans to watch his favorite Alabama football team, but before that, he decided to take a long bike ride through Birmingham. Coming down a hill, the next thing he remembers is waking up in an ambulance. 

So Larry was told how he was bleeding out in a street in downtown Birmingham after a car had struck him when a man by the name of Griffin Harris, who had his own story of suffering, was the first person to reach him and begin doing chest compressions on Larry. He later learned that Griffin was celebrating his first year of sobriety that very day. He was trying to work his way back to reclaim his family. A friend of his was driving him to a celebration where he was going to be speaking when they saw Larry’s accident. 

Others related how a “large Nun" seemingly came out of nowhere and stood over him praying. Larry was not aware of any of this. His first recollection was in the ambulance, when a female medic took his shoulders and began to shout, “stay with me, stay with me, look at me, look at me!” 

Stay With Me!

Larry states, “I am the cyclist who was hit by a car that they are talking about in those interviews.” Incredible, isn’t it? To look at Larry today you’d never know this—unless you looked closely.

When Larry was hit by the car he had the sense that he was being held by something.

Larry had the sense that he was being hugged by a heavenly being. He was surrounded and enveloped by wings all around him, like a cocoon. He was moving above the accident, but not conscious of anything. He remembers having the feelings that there was no time or space. He was in the presence of a brilliantly white being that never spoke.  It was simply there. Larry was not afraid.

Just as he was about ready to form a question, that heavenly being ordered Larry back into his body, and he woke up in the ambulance. At the moment the EMT stood over him shouting, “Look at me, stay with me!” Larry was declared dead at the scene of the accident. 

Today he doesn't have enough words to describe it. Larry says that there is nothing in human experience that he could compare it to. No words were exchanged, only a heavenly presence that was with him.

Near Death Experience

You hear about near death experiences. And Larry was skeptical about them, until Larry had one.

One of his physicians described Larry’s injuries this way in a letter:
[The patient] has sustained multiple severe injuries including multiple vertebral fractures, multiple rib fractures, a flail chest, scapula fracture, hand fracture, multiple facial fractures, among other severe injuries. They have led to the need for long-term medical interventions. He has significant total body impairment from these injuries. Calculating his pain and resulting dysfunction, hearing loss, and possible other neurologic impairment issues, and dysfunction in the body in general, is practically not possible. Due to the multiple severe nature of these injuries … he will in all likelihood have lifelong functional deficits as a result.”

The “among other severe injuries” line amuses Larry in this letter. It’s like he was running out of space.
More than 41 broken bones and 51 fractures - Larry was not expected to live.

Someone’s Screaming!

Larry's next memory was when he woke up to someone screaming and he realized it was him! They were lifting Larry off the gurney and placing him on a stainless steel table in the emergency room.  While they cut off his clothes, he could hear the doctors shout that they could not find where he was bleeding.

Evil and suffering are separate questions.  This is because while all evil brings suffering, not all suffering is (specifically) caused by evil.  So, the question—Why Does God Allow Evil—is a different discussion.


Those who struggle with the idea that God allows suffering usually do so because they begin with a flawed assumption about God and his purposes: They assume God is most concerned with our comfort. He isn’t.


Five days before Larry’s accident he debated atheist Michael Shermer. Debating the existence of God and topics like pain and suffering. 

After Larry’s accident, Michael Shermer published an “Open Letter to Larry Taunton.” Michael saw his accident as an opportunity to dunk on Larry:
Where was your God?
Why didn’t he redirect the car?
Why didn’t he lift your bicycle out of the way?
For him, Larry's accident was proof of God’s nonexistence.

The irony, of course, is there can be no meaning in suffering at all if there is no God.

God and Suffering

There are some things to be understood from the outset in this course on pain and suffering. Larry presupposes the existence of God. This course is chiefly for Christians. This does not mean that if you are not a Christian you can’t benefit from this course. Hopefully you do. But for you to fully “get” what Larry is talking about, you must know Jesus Christ.

Yet, a pastor showed up daily in the ICU to share with Larry his “12 Reasons Why God is Allowing You to Suffer,” but Larry wasn’t even asking that question. He was literally fighting for his life, while this person would lecture him. It only made his suffering exponentially worse. 

Right away, here is a lesson for you: Don’t try to answer questions you are neither qualified to answer or that others aren’t asking.

Here’s some sound advice: Be you Christian or Atheist, take the Apostle Paul’s advice in Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” That’s solid gold, right there.

While the pastor lectured Larry, trying to answer theological questions that Larry was not even asking, another friend, Diane, sent a cake that said, “We Love Larry!”  Although he could not eat the cake obviously, that cake meant a lot to Larry, because he knew the heart behind it.  One person was trying to give intellectual answers to questions he was not even asking while others were simply expressing their love. 

Bring the Cake

This may surprise you: No sufferer dealing with profound pain asks the question, “Why did God allow this?” 

Psalm 115:3 says, “Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.”
Job 42:2 says that “no purpose of God’s can be thwarted.”

Larry trusts in the fact that Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This verse is a cultural favorite and is much misquoted and misapplied.  It only applies to God’s children:  “those who love him…and are called to his purpose.” This verse is not for the unbeliever. Things might work out very badly for them. But for those who believe, God can use anything, even great suffering for those who love him and are called his purpose, will eventually use it for the greater good. 

But Larry still hasn't answered the question.

Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn wrote: “The meaning of earthly existence lies not, as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering but in the development of the soul.” This is not a popular way of thinking. We don’t like suffering.  No one does. We tend to think that the highest calling for us is to avoid pain. 

The God of the Bible is not an Epicurean. These were people who were a philosophical sect of the classical era. They are often confused with the Hedonists of that period. Who were all about the pursuit of pleasure. On the other hand the Epicureans were about the avoidance of pain. Much like the Western world that pivots on these two pursuits. We are about our own comfort. That is the paradigm that you approach this issue with. 

The God of the Bible is not Hedonistic or Epicurean. Instead He uses pain and suffering chiefly for the development of the soul.

Development of the Soul

Why does God allow suffering?  The Judeo-Christian explanation of evil and suffering alone, among all of the many religious explanations, maintains that God is all-powerful. Others make God out to be less than God, a kind of superhero who is occasionally caught off-guard and who is not all-knowing and all-powerful. It’s an attempt to let these gods off the hook.  But that is not the biblical God.

Larry confesses that he was guilty of providing answers for someone who was suffering. He was asked a question, “What happens to children when they die?” Unknowingly, Larry offered his intellectual and theological insights in the presence of someone who was suffering.

When the person who asked the question shared how the night before his friend’s toddler suddenly died, it was then that Larry realized his answer did not mean anything to the parents who had lost their child. His words offered no hope. He was just like the pastor who came to him in his ICU. When others are going through their “valley of the shadow of death” try not to be that person with all the answers. Instead be the person who sends the cake, the person who is willing to present with them. Be the person who weeps with those who weep. 

Weep With Those Who Weep 

Larry had received two visitors during his time in ICU.  One was a pastor who lectured him daily on the 12 reasons why he was suffering and the other simply brought him a cake that said that he was loved. Two different visitors that illustrate the extremes of how to minister to the suffering.

Look for the people “in-between”.  The people who are not necessarily where you are going, but nonetheless are in your journey that may go unnoticed or unappreciated. 

Pray that God opens your eyes to the people who are “in-between” and around your suffering. You can become that point of grace, that one with a word of encouragement. 

Remember to ask the Lord to give you the words. Add them to your prayer list.

Larry shares about a note of encouragement that he left for the man whose daughter was murdered. 
You can be someone’s hope today.

God in My Suffering Application

Larry gives some practical assignments to practice on ministering to those who suffer.

Larry had been suffering a massive internal hemorrhage that was putting tremendous pressure on his heart and organs and if it was not resolved immediately he would die. Without time to prepare Larry for surgery his physician decided to place a chest tube all the way into his lung in an attempt to drain the blood and had to do so without any anesthesia! 

Later his physician recalled how she would never forget this moment.  It was the first time she had done this procedure when a patient was fully conscious. His chest was under so much pressure that when the surgeon cut into his chest wall half of his blood volume came bursting out onto the floor. Somehow, Larry did not go into shock and stayed conscious the entire time. 

Emergency Surgery

Coping with Pain

On day five in ICU Larry’s health took a turn for the worst. The medical team rushed into his room to prepare him for an emergency surgery. Then everything turned even more urgent when they discovered that his chest cavity had been filling up with blood for 5 days.

For weeks after Larry came home from the hospital he was confined to a recliner chair. One night his family was watching the animated Pixar movie “Inside Out” about the emotions of a young girl. During this film Larry’s trauma was triggered and he had to leave the room and sit on the side of the bed. When his wife came to his aid and asked “what’s wrong?” Larry responded to her, “there is so much pain.” Despite all the pain medication, his pain level was excruciating. 

He went on to describe how he felt that Satan came into the room and was sitting next to him and put his arm around him, and said to Larry that he would not let one of his children suffer like this. He knew that was a spiritual attack. Accusing God for allowing him to suffer. Prolonged suffering and severe pain is not only something physical, it is both emotional and spiritual as well. 

“Inside Out” Pain

Larry’s pain revealed itself in some surprising ways. The cycling accident caused him to suffer a traumatic brain injury that left him with a slight personality change that has left him more emotional. 

When Larry got out of the hospital, he was so nervous of the possibility of an opioid addiction that he decided to go “cold turkey” off of his meds. This was not a good move. When you are constantly taking pain medications you could lose sight of your pain level. Larry gives an example of long physical pain. You could handle a needle prick in your neck, but could you deal with it for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year? A never ending pain with no relief. Could you begin to understand? Could you be patient with the sufferer?

In 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul asks the Lord to remove from him his infamous “thorn in the flesh.” Was it a physical ailment or an emotional or character issue? For our purposes, it doesn’t matter. It caused him pain. In verse 9 God answers: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

The first way God’s grace is displayed is through His Word. During Larry’s recovery he found his grace by reading the Psalms. 

Psalm 86:
“Be gracious to me, O Lord,
For to you do I cry all day.”

The Psalms are full of these kinds of lamentations. Before his accident, Larry felt that the Psalms were foreign to him. 

Suddenly this impenetrable book had meaning for me. It will for you, too. David knew suffering, physical and otherwise.
But God shows His grace to us in many other ways.

Thor’s Hammer

How do we cope with pain? Medication is the obvious way to cope with pain. In Larry’s case, he was on Neurotin, Morphine, and Oxycodone all at the same time.  Larry’s son’s gave him a Thor Hammer as a Christmas gift. Apparently, at one time in the ICU he said that he jokingly said that he was Thor. When the pain spiked he would tell his nurses to find his Thor hammer - he needed it because he had work to do!

John 15:5 Jesus says to his disciples, that without me you can do nothing.  

After his accident, Larry could not do anything for himself. During his recovery, he could not do many normal functions, like feeding and bathing himself. He had to have someone help him with everything, especially when it came to driving him around. Riding in a car was very painful for Larry, every time it would hit a bump in the road. He would see every pothole in the road and call out to the driver to be more careful. A couple of months later, while his wife was driving Larry to an appointment, he asked her to let him drive. After refusing his request, she finally allowed him to get behind the wheel and start driving. Then he came to an intersection and realized that he could not turn his head to the right or left to look for oncoming traffic. This illustrated how in his pride he wanted to do things for himself. It was a good reminder of how to be humble in your suffering and allow others to minister to you.

Sometimes in our suffering we do not allow others the blessing of serving. God ministers to them as they minister to us. Allow others to bless you.

Refusing Help

One of the ways to cope with pain is by being willing to receive help. Frankly, it takes humility to receive help. Our own pride gets in the way of us receiving it. Larry shares a humorous story about how he had to learn how to receive help from his own wife.  He admits that he is the type of guy who likes driving himself around. 

Today, it is difficult to even see the many fractures that Larry suffered. The good news is that he survived and is not paralyzed from the accident. He is no longer in the hospital and is now able to do most of the things for himself. That provides perspective for him. Have perspective in your own pain. 

Most people do not have perspective with their own pain. Larry is a regular patient at the Pain Clinic. The first question that is asked to Larry at each visit is for him to “rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10”.  He is amused that in all the years he has never heard fellow patients rate their pain level lower than a “6” on the scale. Larry knows what suffering a “10” is like and what a “1” on the pain scale is. From his perspective he feels that others exaggerate their own levels of pain based on their perspective. 

Perspective of Pain

Another way of coping with pain is to practice thinking of something worse than your suffering. It is important to have perspective. 

There are great mysteries in suffering, and the Lord meets you there in the midst of them. If you are to get anything out of your suffering you must have FAITH.

Faith is evidential. The atheist usually says that faith is blind. The God of the Bible does not call you to step out into nothingness. Instead, it is our belief that the God of the Bible is who He says He is. Our faith is based on his character. He offers us “if - then” propositions. That asks us the question, “Do you trust me and will succeed in the things that I have promised?” 

Larry says, “that God has never failed me.” And it is through his experience of God that his faith grows. So, when he goes through his “valley of the shadow of death” he has a choice to either reject God or to trust Him.
You cannot understand Pain and Suffering if you don’t believe in God.

Faith is Evidential

Larry jokes that if you are going to go through your own Valley of the Shadow of Death, why not squeeze it for all that it’s worth? Why not benefit from the experience? While Larry says that he would never want to walk that path again, there are things he learned that he won’t trade for anything.

The question in this film is: “Do you have faith that there is reason for the pain and suffering?”

It is not the intellectual reasons that you need. The question is do you trust God when you don’t understand how things work.
Sometimes it is like that way with God.  We trust God without understanding Him. Some people make up reasons why they are suffering. Larry believes that God loves him and He has the right to do whatever He wants with him.

Larry reminds us of the graciousness of God, and you can trust Him even when you “see through a glass darkly…” 
Accept that there is mystery in your suffering.

Skyfall Theology

Larry shares some insights on suffering that he observed in the James Bond movie - Skyfall. There is a scene where the villain in the story has captured Bond and points out all of the scars on his body that he has been inflicted with by serving as secret agent 007. He presses Bond to admit that all these wounds were caused by his superior and tries to force him to reject them and take revenge. Instead James refuses to choose and has faith in “M”, his boss. There is no intellectual response.

Larry encourages you to want the God who is infinite in his understanding, who is sovereign and all-powerful and all-knowing. He wants to serve the God of Isaiah 55:8-9.
8“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

This is the God you need in your suffering.  Not a superhero that sometimes controls things. But one who totally controls all things. And who understands what is going on, even when we don’t

Furthermore, because I have faith in him, I accept that He has Divine Prerogative.

In John 5 he heals one person amidst a multitude. 
In Daniel 3, he saves Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo, but they recognize that He might not.
17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

They believe that God is able to save, but He might not.

Divine Prerogative

If you are the kind of a person who demands a complete explanation of all of life’s mysteries or you won’t believe in God, then you are fooling yourself. You are recreating God in your own image. You want a God who is finite in your understanding as you are. 

Peter may not have understood his message, but what he did know is that he loved and trusted Jesus with his life. And that he had no other alternative than Jesus. So in your suffering, if you are rejecting God, then the question is, “who should you go to?”

The wise man copes with his pain, knowing this life isn’t a retirement plan you can opt out of. There is no other option.
There are no experts on suffering. There are only those who trust God, and those who do not.

No Other Option

In the book of John, it is recorded that after Jesus had preached a hard message, many people decided to leave him. And he addressed his disciples to see if they were also going to leave him too. Peter responds to Jesus in John 6:68:  “Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens”
If you are suffering, please allow others to bear your burden with you. They realize that they can’t fully know all that you are going through, but they want to put a shoulder under it nonetheless, please let them.

If you are ministering to someone who is suffering, try reading the Psalms to them. The Psalms will provide steadiness. There will be times of spiritual attacks during the lowest moments of pain. The full scope of human emotion is found in the Psalms.

God does not resent your emotions. The God of the Bible meets us in our pain. He understands the anger that we can have and feel. The Psalms of David have given us an outline for how to express our emotions. They will resonate with you and will speak to you powerfully in your suffering. And will reassure you that you are not the only one who has been there. When you open the Psalms you will realize God’s love for you.

Larry admits that there were some things that the Lord wanted to teach him that he was only going to receive when he went through this deep travail of pain. The “deep valley club” is not one that you want to join, but once you are a member you never want to leave it, because there are things that we would not learn any other way. 

Jesus has known great suffering, more than most have ever seen and yet he loves us in our pain. 
Call out to Him in your deep travail of pain, God will communicate His love to you.

Coping with Pain Application

Larry gives some practical assignments to practice on how to apply Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens”

As Larry was moderating this debate he asked the question: In an audience of this size there are probably people who have experienced abuse, suffering profoundly, egress loss, great pain and suffering. So he asked the two participants if either of them “had known great suffering in their life?”

Both men thought for a moment and then answered “no.”

Larry recalls that he had unintentionally killed the entire debate. They still had things to say about the topic, but he knew that they had nothing to offer those in the audience who had experienced great suffering and who knew first hand about grief and loss.

Debating Suffering

Ministering to the Those in Pain

Larry shares how he once was asked to moderate a debate at UNC Chapel Hill between Dinesh D'Souza and Bart D. Ehrman.  Ehrman is an outspoken agnostic and chair of the religious studies department at UNC Chapel Hill. And Larry’s friend Dinesh D'Souza, is a political activist and philosopher.  They were on the stage at the Memorial Hall in front of 1,200 people to debate over Ehrman's book, God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question--Why We Suffer.

There are things that you can do.
Romans 12:15,
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

If you are going to minister to someone in pain, keep this in the forefront of your mind. It offers a mission statement for your ministry. There is no need to ask why they are suffering, instead go and weep with them. Enter into their pain with them.

Larry has said there is grace in suffering. Your church or Christian community can be an expression of that grace. It is a way for others to show how they know and see you and how they want to care for you. 

Simple gestures of cards in the mail with notes of reassurance and prayer mean much to those who receive them. You are to be an instrument of that grace.

Visit them in the hospital or wherever they are.
Even when people respond that they don't like hospitals. Remember that it’s not about you.

Larry's primary care doctor stated to him that she believes his recovery was a miracle. She shared with Larry that when he was in ICU there were two other people who came into ICU when he did and had similar injuries but not as traumatic, yet that they both died. When he asked why they died, she shared in the case of one of them, that they did not have a single vistor.  She believes that a positive effect of Larry’s recovery had much to do with how his room was full of people and it kept your spirits up. 

Don’t Try to Fix It

When ministering to the suffering, understand that no one wants to hear how your dog died or how you once broke a couple of ribs. It’s not a contest. This is not helpful.  And when ministering to the suffering, don’t try to fix it.

When empathy is called for, men are not as good at it. Larry’s nurses were great! They often thought of the little things. Like one of his nurses would think to hold his head up when he was moved in the bed.  This one thoughtful action helped Larry immensely cope with this daily routine. 

Guys are not left off the hook. One of Larry’s friends came to visit with him and didn’t try to fix anything or offer answers to his suffering, he simply sat by his side. It was his way to express that he mattered. 

Natural Empathizers

According to Larry’s experience, when it comes to caring for people who are suffering, women are better.  They tend to be natural empathizers, where men struggle with crises, because they want to try to fix it. Men tend to be ready to go into action to fight the battle. 

One day Larry was able to travel to get his haircut. When he arrived at the shop he was met by a young lady who took one look at him and exclaimed, “what happened to you?” Larry remembers one side of her head was shaved, and the other side long purple hair. She was wearing a green dress and black combat boots. But what Larry remembers the most is how kind that girl was to him as she carefully shampooed and cut his hair. In comparison to all the people who wanted to give him answers for his pain, nothing meant as much to Larry as this simple kind touch.

Larry wants everyone to know that his wife was his best caretaker. She never left his side. Sleeping on a couch beside his chair. He knew his pain hurt her. 

One friend observed that he could not get into bed, and gave him a special recliner chair that helped him be more comfortable.

It is so important to be there with the people who are in pain. 

Be there!
Pray with them.
Listen to them.
Comfort them.
It is about your presence.

Larry remembers a time that he was invited by a bishop in Nigeria to come and write about the suffering and persecution caused by the militant sects in that country. When he was preparing to travel the trip was going to be very expensive. So he asked if it would be better if he sent the money directly to them rather than flying out there. The bishop rejected Larry's offer. And explained how important it was better for him to come there and so that the people know they have not been forgotten. No one had bothered to visit them during the war. Go and see those people who are suffering and minister to them.

Purple Hair Minister

Later, when Larry was finally able to travel to get his hair cut, the stylist was shocked by Larry’s look and he was surprised by how she looked. 

Can you be willing to get out of your comfort zone? 
And, remember that it is not about you.

Look for practical ways to assist. No need to bring answers for things you don’t understand. Find practical ways that you can be of help. Look for them. Bring a snack, maybe a book or magazine. Simply supply some companionship - meet a practical need.

Comfort Zone

Human nature does not want us to go out of our comfort zone. We don’t want to see pain and suffering or even know about it. We would rather minister from a distance. 

Larry did research for a hospital and sat and listened to people who were going through medical trauma.
He was greeted by these people who were seething with rage. Larry would listen to their stories. 

Most people in pain do not need you to fill the silence with talk - but rather be willing to listen.

Go to the waiting room at an ER and sit and listen to them. You will quickly find someone who needs some words of encouragement and for you to pray with them.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen.  Look for the opportunities that are around you. 
See how you will blessed when you bless others who simply want to be heard.

Ministering to Those in Pain Application

Larry gives some practical assignments to try out when ministering to those who are in pain and suffering. 

Sin can be a cause for suffering. In extreme cases in the Bible we see the flood in Genesis 7 and the killing of the Egyptian firstborn in Exodus 12. These are instances of great grief and suffering. It was caused by sin and resulted in God’s punishment. 

In the New Testament, in Acts 5, it is recorded how Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira were struck dead because of their sin against the Holy Spirit and their community.  In John 5 Jesus heals a paralytic man by a pool in Bethesda. 
Verse 14 says “See, you are well! Sin no more than nothing worse may happen to you.” Jesus implies that his suffering was a result of his sin. 

Isn’t sin the cause of all suffering? In the big picture, yes, insofar as it is all caused by The Fall. Many accuse God of allowing sin into the world. It is not God’s fault, it is the fault of mankind. To say that all suffering is caused by sin is not Biblical and not true. 

In John 9 Jesus heals a man who was blind from birth. 
In verse 1 his disciples ask “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?”
Jesus replied, “Neither! But that the power of God might be displayed in him!” Jesus is teaching that all suffering is not caused by sin. 

Be careful in judging the cause of someone’s suffering. 

Finding Hope in Pain

Most people who are suffering are not looking for intellectual answers as much as they are in need of hope. Larry explores several Bible passages on the causes of pain and suffering.

Larry has seen suffering on a scale that beggars the imagination in poverty, violence, injustice, diseases that are curable but not in that part of the world, but it became personal when Larry and his wife adopted their beautiful daughter Sasha from Ukraine. Larry describes Sasha as one of the toughest human beings he knows. There’s not much she has not endured. She was abandoned at birth and raised in three different orphanages. It gives her nightmares to this day. 

She once asked Larry why didn’t God take her out of the orphanage. Larry responded that He did when she was adopted into her family. Sasha said that what she meant was, why didn’t God take her out earlier? Larry did not have an answer for his daughter. 

There are some things in the will of God that are beyond our understanding. There are some things that break in this life that aren’t mended until the next one. 

Abandoned

Larry has told some of the story of his pain, but he has been all over the world and has seen mind-blowing suffering. He makes a bit of a distinction between pain and suffering. He defines pain as the stimuli of suffering that is all that follows to the whole person: the physical, mental, and spiritual torment. 

When a famous atheist, Christopher Hitchens received his cancer diagnosis, Larry was one of the people he talked with. He asked him about what his diagnosis meant. His reply was that it was a “death sentence.” He went on to say that he had plans - that he needed to cancel. Sometime after that Larry was able to visit him. He said that many pastors had written to tell him that they were praying for him. But Larry did not say that he was praying for healing. He asked why didn’t he say that to him?

Larry told Christopher about his father who was like him. When he was a child, he remembers praying for his father to stop smoking and drinking. But as he got older, his prayers for his father changed to, “Lord, do whatever it takes to save him - break him if that is what it takes! When he was on his deathbed, he made a decision to accept Jesus Christ.

He said to Christopher that in his case, he reassured him that he did care about his healing and his suffering. He further said to him that he believed that his cancer diagnosis was an act of mercy by God. He questioned Larry on why he would say this. Larry responded that he believed that God could have ended his life at any time. Instead He had announced that He was coming for him, asking if he was sure that this was the way he wanted to meet God in eternity. Larry went on to say that God had given him a stay of execution. In this diagnosis God had given him some time to decide what he believed about the God of the Bible. 

Suffering can have meaning that goes beyond the obvious. It can also be an act of mercy.

Larry shared Matthew 16:26 with Christopher, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

For the Christian, dying is to go home. It is to be released from this world of pain.
Don’t fear it.

Act of Mercy

Grace is the way that you can see yourself through difficulties.  Look to God’s grace to sustain you until that time! Psalm 55:22 tells us to cast our cares on to the Lord and he will sustain us.  For he shall never let the righteous fall.  Larry warns you  that this statement will jar you: part of that grace resides in the fact that dying is not the worst thing that can happen to you. This became a surprise to atheist Christopher Hitchens, when he received a fatal diagnosis. 

Live your life open-handed, that you are a mortal being and that your inevitable end is to die and your soul will live on. Reconcile yourself to the fact that one day you are going to die. That will bring you a level of freedom that you will never know before. 

Your life is in God’s hand. Your days are numbered.
Take comfort in knowing that.  


Living Open Handed

Experiencing pain offers perils of wisdom.  One is that you do not have to fear death. 

Revelation 21:4
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
No greater hope than that. A Christian can look forward to that.

No Greater Hope

The greatest hope of all is: For the Christian, all suffering will, one day, cease.

1. Don’t confuse seeing how God is using your suffering with the reason for your suffering. They are not always the same thing. God’s purposes are not always visible to us, though He sometimes gives glimpses.


2. Don’t wield your pain as a weapon. Some become angry and bitter in their pain. They don’t allow others to bring up anything they are struggling with because, well, they always have the trump card of greater suffering. Don’t do this. It’s not only unchristian, it is cruel.

3. Pain will change you. It may be for the better or it may be for the bitter, but you are forever different. The people I know with what I will call great depth of soul have known great suffering. But there’s no guarantee that you will be a recipient of that. It all depends on how you respond to your suffering.

4.  Bear in mind that we all process pain differently. Don’t extrapolate from your experience to someone else's experience and assume that they should respond the same way that you did. 


5. Pain can serve to make us thankful. How many of us have said in illness or pain, “When I get better, I won't take my health for granted”? Maybe this can be a way that God can get your attention.


6.  God is no less active in healing you than in not healing you. Either way, He is with you when you suffering and has purpose in your suffering.

Apply these in your life.

Words and Warnings

Larry wraps up his course with six statements (and warnings) for those of you who have really suffered or are currently suffering.

Start first by crying out to God and let it out.
Feel free to shake and clench your fists.

Next, open your hands and pray that the Lord takes the pain and suffering.

Live your life wide open.
Offer your pain to the Lord.
Offer your whole life to the Lord.
Allow Him to fashion you into what He wants you to be.

Open Handed Application

Larry leads in an “Open Hand” exercise.

Larry thanks you for participating in this course.

He recaps some of the topics of this course.
Why does God allow pain?
Is there meaning in pain?
How do we cope with our pain?
How do we help others with their pain?
How do we find hope in pain?

Larry encourages you to use this course for further study.  
Invite others over and host a Watch Party.

Check other courses on Tome.

Conclusion

Larry offers a quick word of thanks and encouragement.

The Paradox of Pain

Larry Alex Taunton has become an expert in the topic of pain and suffering not only from his years of research and writing on this topic, but because he was violently injured in a cycling accident where a car ran through an intersection where he sustained 41 broken bones and 51 fractures, loss over half of his body’s blood. Traumatic brain injury, hearing loss and surviving to live each day with chronic pain.

If you or someone you know has endured pain, this course is meant to delve into the complexities of that experience. The teachings in this course will minister you or prepare you to minister to others.

Larry Alex Taunton

Author and Host Ideas Have Consequences (Podcast)

Larry Alex Taunton addresses all the questions on suffering and pain from both a Biblical and his own personal experience.

The Importance of Perspective in Your Suffering

Why Suffering Without the Existence of God Is Meaningless

Your guide, Larry Alex Taunton